Just for follow up here I haven't been able to solve this. I need assistance in tracking down where I can find what the Updates.php page is/isn't doing. Upon further inspection via ssh on the server, git is spitting out and recognizing that there have been updates to the remote repository and I'm behind, however I have to manually run a git pull.
Frustrating, but I'm determined to fix this.
Made a post in your thread @afiadam reiterriating my woes as well, I'll update as soon as I belive I have a fix to my problem and hopefully my solution can help others via my final write up.